creativity is like sex, it is provocative, elusive and exhilarating. it is all around us, but when we're looking for it it stays hidden. for some, it happens often and with martinis; for others their creative celibacy is suppressed for decades. *insert freudian slip. the power of potentiality is absolute, it created this entire universe, it created you. how egoic of us to think we can control or tame this wildness. we can neither summon absent creativity nor banish it when overly possessed.
to those of us in life that actively celebrate art, the left hemisphere can and does get in the way. if you doubt this, go to a bar and watch men try to pick up beautiful women. lord knows I have been awkward in my courtship of creativity. as a recovering businessman, part of my 12-step program has been admitting this powerlessness to myself. I previously forced the aesthetics of branding and design through a left-brain filter. what I created was shit. now I try to remember - both money and shit inherently have no value and are quite unclean.
slowly, I have sought to clean myself of all that is superfluous. what's left over is a sixth sense sense - knowing what is beautiful. I now bath in the simplicity of shape and form, the language of the natural environment, the womb where we live. from the city to the jungle, watching acid rain turn alkaline. economic or survival based reasoning has washed into a holistic and intuitive process that I can't quite control. in this "letting go" I started seeing purpose in beauty instead of bank balances. now I approach "work" with an open and curious heart. blossoms have been arising ever since.
as the playful creative spirit swirls in and out of my life in its elusive way, sometimes I feel guided and sometimes I don't. sometimes there is fear-lack, sometimes there is love-abundance. sometimes I crush inside a black hole, sometimes I expand like an exploding supernova. I keep bouncing back and forth, surrendered into the duality. when writing, when loving, when designing jewelry pieces on CAD with Meagan, I ask myself: is this forced or does it feel pure and inspired by something beyond? I try to look with humble eyes to see if the creative muse that knows balance and form has come through. I wonder if the essence is preserved when the ideas filter and distill through the left brain and its crafting hands. our creations may always fall short... still i am infinitely grateful for the joy of trying.